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Fuck the Torpedoes

by Kevin Hooker Dixon

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1.
Half Stack 03:26
I got it covered. I can do this myself. It's nothing I can't handle. I don't need anyone's help. But there ain't none of us born without a little bit of sweet charity. So where is the harm in just asking for a simple small act of god's mercy? There isn't anyone supposed to- supposed to be that strong. You can cry and protest but you can't carry that yourself, and neither could anyone. Don't you be so ashamed. Don't you be so embarrassed. It's not like there's anyone out that there ever thought that you would make it. From all that I've gathered- from all of the sense I can take from it. For all of the evidence pointing against us, I think that we can still shake it. Don't you spend another second to dwell on whether anybody thinks you're a baby. Tell me who isn't crying out for help. Tell me who's not afraid they're going crazy. I wouldn't worry so much about being stupid. The fool's the only one who doesn't suffer. But he don't suffer enough, it's not cool but he doesn't. Tell me who you think's got it suckier. Don't you be so stubborn. Don't you be so constrained. Would you be so kind? Won't you be so brave? You can feel so warm. You can feel so strange. You can be anything because that's all you are in the first place.
2.
Ratbit 02:31
Don't you give up little darling. I promise I won't give up on you. When life just gets in the way and you don't like where it's going. When it looks like every bad dream you had is coming true. Don't you give up my sweet baby. Misfortune has a habit of clearing a path on its way through, and that's where we're headed to. And I can see it out there off in the distance. I can hear it calling for me and you. It says "Hey, how do you do?" It says "My my, it sure looks like you two- You got rat bit, and you're due for a break." And surprise of surprises, that's the only thing left we got to take. Hey I'll take it. Don't ever give up my precious idol. I will follow your footsteps anywhere that you want to go. Please keep making them footsteps. I'll go anywhere that you want to go. Tell me what is the fuss? Just what exactly is keeping us from doing whatever we wanna do? Let's get out of our own way I would leave with you today. Find the space we've always tried to fit into. For all the circles of curses the first one we must shake- is giving up, if not just for our own sake.
3.
What makes you think that the devil wants to have anything to do with you? He's got his own fires to light. Man, he's too busy out starving babies. He hasn't got time for your bullshit. He doesn't have to come out and chase you. Because you're coming to him. And all he's gotta do is just wait for ya. You're walking right up to his door, and nobody had to persuade you to. He's got his own lusts to satisfy. And he's having far too much fun deflowering nuns than to piddle with you, no matter how far you can bend over backward for him. No he's not coming for you. And he ain't coming for me either. Cuz we're all marching in line straight up his steps. Just what makes us think that we can continue to blame him for all of the evil we do? Cuz he didn't do it- this time or any other, now did he? We all know whose fingerprints are all over this wrench, and they're not his. No! But we'll always try to frame him for what we did. But he's right here inside of us. That's the only place he really exists. Yeah he's right here inside of us. That's where he lives. That's where he thrives. That's where he does his business- right down our necks! And you can bet that we'll still try to pin this on just about anything but ourselves.
4.
We're all going to burn in the same fire. It don't matter whose turn it is you'll catch your share. Now that we're gathered together by the same tomb there's still room for more. If we had any last words, we already said them. We're all going to fall through the same hole. So much deeper in it than anybody thought we could get. Who could father all these children and not give a care if they live or die? Cuz he sounds like an asshole- I ain't gonna lie. If you feel the need to strike me down- well I guess that's entirely up to you but could you please just wait a little while? Lord have mercy! God give me strength! Why you make us suffer through all of this just to send us to a worse place? You- you fucking dick. If I might so presume, I'd tell you how I'd do it, but you don't listen. All the sadness, all the salt in the sea could never satisfy your appetite for cruelty. But the truth is we're all staring into the same eyes. Making excuses about everything that led up to this. Because we did it to ourselves, and we didn't need anyone's help. And now there's nothing left for anyone to leave to you.
5.
I hear you outside. I'm right here on the couch. I've told you and told you not to come over here unannounced. Please stop knocking. Get away from my door. I've told you and told you I'm not going to open it to you anymore. Do you remember how much I begged? Do you remember how it never mattered what I said? Now you can say I'm mean. Now that you can't get it from me. And you can say I'm crazy. And I was crazy to keep thinking maybe. Please stop knocking. Get away from my door. I've told you and told you I'm not gonna open it to you anymore. I'd give you an inch. But I can't give you my mile. I know if I soften at all you'll just tear me apart for awhile. Please stop knocking. Get away from my door. I've told you and told you I'm not gonna open it to you anymore. Oh that's right, I guess I'm cruel. Alright, you can tell it in school. Let them decide who's a fool. Won't you please stop knocking? Get away from my door. Please stop knocking. Hey!!! Don't you come around here no more.
6.
If there was anything that I thought I could do, I would have done it already. Or at least tried to. If there was something that I thought I could say, then I would have said it. I wouldn't save it for a rainier day. We're so powerless. We're so frail. We can barely function, but we can't fail. Now they can't touch me. No I can't be hit. I'm not taking no pitches. I ain't swinging for nothing, cuz I'm already here at home plate. Hey- That's baseball! Those little squiggles you see in front of your eyes. The more you try to focus on them the more they move to the side. Hey baby can you tell me, can't you please just give me a hint, what exactly it is in the first place that's wrong with simply letting them drift? We're so fragile. We're so pale. And it doesn't take much to sweep us under the rug and forget that we were ever here. We're so practical. We're so impaired. Trying so hard to make it come out right when there's nobody out there who cares. But I do. At least I do about you. So at least- At least you got that. And that's the very least you should ever accept. If I could do one thing, and do it it all over again, I don't really wanna even know what it is. I don't ever want to make that decision. If I could be anyone- anyone who ever lived. I might try you for awhile cuz I like your style but there's not anyone else that I'm interested in. Yeah we're so magical. Yeah we're so great. And I'm glad that were both so excited for all that could possibly prey on us ahead. Whatever it is that decides to happen. The tide might just as soon rise with us, but it'll never stop crashing.
7.
Blame 03:44
May there come a time when you can't blame me anymore. When all of the problems you got are strictly your own. Maybe someday I won't blame you either. It doesn't matter whose fault it is when both of our lives are a mess. May you always stand tall. May you always ring true. May you never have to question again what exactly it was that I put you through. We might have to wait. We might have to wait till tomorrow for this to never happen again. Don't tell me I don't know how it feels to be blue, to think you always lose. Don't tell me I haven't been there, I've seen it get pretty bad. I hope that soon both of us will be on the mend. And that all of our troubles will come to an end. And for all of the fireworks, for everything that went down in flames, I don't want to bother with who's to blame. You can tell me I'm wrong. You can tell me I'm crazy- I don't need you to tell me that. You can spell it all out. I read you loud and clear. You don't need to shout. I'm not made of stone. I understand where you're coming from. I don't hear nobody clapping but I'm still glad that it happened. I hope that eventually all the stains will bleach out. And you and I can talk comfortably about anything we want to talk about. And the only thing left for anyone to take blame for, is simply having a heart, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.
8.
This can't stand. So there might be a scuffle. But it's coming down. No matter how hard it struggles. So take a picture. Write your own obit. It's out of my hands. I can't control it. And we're all so tired of towing the line. And they ain't gonna get away with it like they did the last time. And the truth that they're selling you is exactly what they want you to buy. And the proof of what it's done to you is you looking at me like I was the liar. But soon when the nights get cold, and the power goes out, and you feel so alone. You may ask yourself- Where did everyone go? How did everything go up in smoke? And if you're looking for some new friends, I can tell you where to find them. Hey we're right over here. Just busy surviving. Once we all wanted the same thing. Some kind of justice was all we were after. But hey- We still got something in common! Now the only thing we both want is clean water. Would you like some? You can help yourself. Or if you prefer, you can fight me for all of it. What does it matter? What's the use of deciphering just who needs to forgive who. We're all approaching the same fate, and mine ain't any different from yours mate.
9.
You had your moment, and if I had to take a guess. I'd say you put it on backwards. Oh boy you're looking a mess. Don't you think I'm not on to you. You're spilling it all over the place. How you think I caught on? Tell me how do you? You're filling your cup. You're lining them up. Like you got a million to spare. I think you fucked up, so I bid one dollar. Have you had enough? How loud are you willing to holler? And if you never had a friend to tell you true and inform you when you're starting to slobber. Well I guess that's just how it goes, and everyone knows it. Why do we ever bother. I'll tell you why. You can call me a liar. You can call me any time that you want to. Yoo-hoo! You can say I've gone crazy. You can say that I'm out of line. You can say what you want. But won't you give me just one lick at your finest? Won't you be my best friend? Won't you be my royal highness? And I'm sure you can do anything that you want to, cuz that's how amazing you are. Tell me what kind of star do you think you've set fire to? I'm so ready. Are you ready? Are you ready to light it? I think I'm ready. Are you ready? Are you ready to try it? Are you ready? I know I'm ready. Oh yes I'm ready to bite it.
10.
As long as nothing else gets damaged. As long as nothing else is ruined. We both want it to go away, so why does it take as long as anything else we've endured. No I don't like it any less than you do. Lordy knows you've certainly paid your dues. How about that- you're trapped! Somewhere that you hid in the past. How much longer can you last? As long as nothing else makes sense here. As long as nothing else can be explained. You'll never get finished. Ain't nobody here gonna win it. As long as nothing else remains. Ain't nobody here can predict where the next hit is coming from. Only god knows, and look at what he's put you through. Ain't nobody here wants to admit just how bad it can get. Nobody here ever thought it could be so cruel. Everybody wishes it wasn't, but we got another thing coming. And if they can't see it at least you and I can, Baby what I wouldn't do for just another minute with you. Baby what I wouldn't give to be holding your hand. As long as nothing else on this planet. As long as nothing else that ever walked upon the face of the earth. We both gave it a shot. It doesn't matter if we made it or not, cuz now we're here.
11.
I know you don't like it. I don't like it myself. So if there's nothing to like what's the use of putting ourselves through this bullshit? And spending half of our lives on a loop? And if you got a little time left at the end of the day to yourself- They'll just say you're not trying. Everybody's lying about everyone else. Saying mean things that aren't even true. Have you had it by half? Can we call off the attack? I don't know anyone who likes it this brutal. And if I got one dollar for every nickel you earned. I'd probably feel just fine, but you might feel a little burned. Hey hey hey can you tell me. Tell me what's that smell? Cuz I think that it's you this time. Baby won't you tell me you love me. Baby won't you give me a kiss. Hold me in your arms. Please don't do me no harm. I'll give you everything that I got to give. And if you ever get tired, or sick of watching us die- You wouldn't be as admired. But hey hey hey we don't talk about that. No we don't- Since we'd have to accept our little part in it. Nobody said it was fun. Ain't nobody. Nobody said it. Nobody said it was fun. But everyone heard. We all heard it. We all heard that it was. When we're all dead and forgotten and no one's had it their way. When everyone's gotten the gooch. You might give me a wink because part of me still thinks I deserve a little better than you. Yes I do- yes I do. Nobody it was fun. Ain't nobody said that.
12.
When you can't afford to keep living- well I guess that it's time for you to die. When you can't afford anymore living-well I guess that it's time for you to die. Yes it is. Or else it's someone you love. Yes it is. When you can't afford living well I guess that it's time for you to die. When you can't afford to go on living- well I guess that it's time for you to die. Or it's your momma, or it's your daddy, or it's your sister, or it's your brother. It's your grandma. It's your cousin. It don't matter if they can't pay. How can you tell me they aren't worth exactly- exactly the same, as anyone else you can think of. As anyone else that you can name. As hard as you try to find. When it costs too much to keep living- guess it's time for you to die. That's too bad. When it costs too much to keep living, well I guess that it's time for you to die. We'll sure miss you. It don't matter if you're covered if you get splattered if you can't find a good enough job. You lazy little fucker. You're pathetic. You're a loser. You're a sucker. You're a slob, and you don't count. No you don't, no you don't. You might think that they'll be there for you, to help you out, but that ain't true. When the going gets tough they're nowhere to be found. You're on your own. There ain't no one around- that isn't as much just as totally fucked as are you. When you finally can't afford living- guess it's time for you to die. So sorry, but it's time for you to die, cuz you can't afford to keep living.
13.
I Can't Wait 05:19
Baby can you hear me? I'm not so far away. Baby, little baby- I can't wait. Baby can you hear me? Tell me what to do. Baby, little baby- I'll do what's right for you. I'll figure it out- what you're trying to say. And I won't laugh when you've had a bad day. I'll hold you, and I'll know you. Baby. Baby can you hear me? I'm not so far away. Baby, little baby- I can't wait.

about

Oh man I'm in trouble. This record represents Spring of 2022. I should have got it out months ago. It's almost Halloween as I type this. I think I'm gonna have to postpone my Christmas album until next year. I know this is heartbreaking news for almost all of you. But maybe I'll write some more songs for it and make it a double holiday spectacular. It's the only way I'm gonna squeeze in my releases recorded Summer, Fall, and Winter of 22 before it gets warm again. These collections are already in the can BTW. I swear it's the typing that takes me so long on these things. That and creating the "album covers." That takes actual coordination with other human beings. I'd like to thank Shay Alderman, who photographed this one as well as the last two. And Mike Benson for the one before that. (Although it was Podlipec's boots that really sealed the deal on that one) Sadly, nobody comes over to collaborate musically anymore besides Shay. Gone are the days when several special guest stars would come over to collaborate or at least play bass on something. Billy Buckley won't come over anymore and finish his bass part because it's "too cluttered." Where I live, not his bass part. Can you believe it? The good news is that I've stopped whining about my "feelings" so much at this point and started writing songs about other subjects. More to come. Anyway, I've really fucked myself by procrastinating on each successive release. But I can't let that stop me from doing whatever this is that I think I'm doing, which is four albums a year, one for every season. With occasional holiday themed releases, covers albums, and outtakes collections. Ad nauseum, in excelsis, to infinity and beyond. Fuck the torpedoes!

credits

released November 2, 2023

me, Shay Alderman, Tom Petty

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Covid Charlie's Demo-lution Chapel Hill, North Carolina

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